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days without the beauty of complete sleeping


2 araw na akong walang tulog ng maayos.. well if you really call 2 hours a sleep. hayy gusto ko ng matulog!

nakakainis. iba ang pakiramdam ng puyat. bukod sa it makes you vomitt when you dance during your modern jazz session, maraming kakaibang mushy stuff ang lumabas sayo. kabuwisit.
at higit sa lahat it makes you more lazy. just imagine, last night when i got home from my math 17 class, i was planning to take a shower then go to the land of dreams (sleep) pero for some reason ayaw talga gumalaw ng mga nanakit kong paa at binti. ayaw nilang tumayo kaya i decided na i should just change my clothes and sleep... pero when i am about to sleep...i cant sleep! naalala ko kasi na hindi pala ko nakakatulog unless na hindi ako na kapag shower. kabuwisit diba! totally opposing ang buong katawan koh!


anyways...
lets change the topic and let me talk about more sensible things.

yesterday, while i was in my psych 10 class.. i received a txt message from abroad..it was actually a message from one of my closest friend (guy)...wala lang..i was really shocked..napaka sweet nung message kaya nga i realized how i miss him so much... huhuhuhu

hayy see.. i'm getting mushy again..

tapos during the psych 10 class din, we talked about cognitive theories of eric erickson and his whatever theories.. and den na shift ang mga tanong ng teacher ko sa
"how far is your dream?" at "how do you comfort yourself?"

how far is my dream?...na realize ko na my dreams are really big: graduate PH, enter med school, be a surgeon, be the best surgeon, and then go to rural areas. oh diba ang great ng dreams koh? pero if i really think of it....yeah its big pero its really not that far.. i am not saying na sobrang dali lang maging doctor at sobrang bilis at dali lang makapasok ng med school..pero what i am trying to say is......after i become a doctor or the best doctor, what happends next?

then i realize na theres still a lot more for me to dream...marami pa akong kailangang pangarapin at abutin....at higit sa lahat..sobrang dami pang oras ang nakalaan para sakin...hayyy basta...as of now i will dream to be a doctor and work hard for me to make that dream a reality pero kung ano man ang mangyayari after nun.. bahala na. come what may. mananagainip nalang ulit ako siguro.

how do you comfort yourself? hay ito ang katanungan na sinagot namin ng mga classmates ko ng mayhalong kagaguhan.. ewan....ayaw ko ng sabihin pa kung paano namin (ayun sa mga classmates ko) sinagot ang tanong na ito during pysch 10 class.....kasi kung sasabihin ko baka isipin nyo na hindi kami taga UP hehehhehe... pero dont worry sasabihin ko ang sagot ko, ung serious na sagot hindi yung kalokohan....

hmmm...how do i comfort myself?? i comfort myself by talking to myself..
(again, i am not crazy.. i am just special)


seriously. simula bata ako, napapansin ko na sa sarili ko na i always talk to myself. for some reason i just talk to myself. accidentally huh! ewan...marami kasing tumatakbo sa utak ko kaya minsan i always ended up being tulala. kaya nga pag depress ako..i comfor myself by talking to myself..kasi i guess...theres no other person that myself want to hear rather than myself myself. gets nyo?


basta....whenever i am weary and i am sad i always comfort myself by telling things that i know will make me feel more confident and strong...and most of the times... i pray...

seryoso..kahit ganito ako. religous ako. i talk to myself and i talk to God..and somehow it just works.