the bad thing is

A QUESTION OF MYSELF...

IS THERE REALLY GOD...

IS MY FAITH NOT ENOUGH....

WHY??????

i dont know why God put me in UP or why my parents choose UP for me.... at first i made myself believed that i have a purpose in UP that God wants me to learn something from UP but then as my day pass by in it, i realized that being in UP was not a blessing it was actually a curse, yah right ITS UP its the UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES...WHOOO BE AWARE ALL THE GEEKS AND THE NERDS ARE THERE... BE THANKFUL YOU PASSED THE UPCAT... but the truth is, its really hard to be in UP.... if upcat is tough.. being in UP is tougher

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everyday i am praying to God wishing and hoping that he will make things better for me but still in the end of the day i will still feel depressed and sad... (so is there really God?)

everyday i am doing my best as a student..... i have been studying so hard still i always fail in the class (so again, is there really God who they say are a just?)

everyday i am trying to be a better person, a humanitarian trying to do the "do to others what you want them do to you" still there are people who do bad things to me.. (again is there really God?)

I graduated as a salutatorian, i passed both UPCAT and USTET still i am not enough... still they ask more of me..... (again is there really God??)

they say that when you give your cares and pain on him... he will lift it up so you could feel no burden...but then why am i still feel depressed.. everyday i am asking him to just at least take aways my pain but still everyday the pain is getting stronger and stronger (so again is there really God?)

And if theres really the Loving, kind and gracious God, why is he not helping me? or why he has left me??? is my faith enough?? am i not enough???

WHY?

my faith is in the limbo and i am afraid.... i'm in so much pain and i feel that there is no one out there to help me nor to catch me if i fall... my family?? no they can't help me because in the first place they are the ones who put me in here..... my friends??? what do they know, they just gonna tell you to continue live your life..... God?? hahahahhaha as if he exist or as if he is there for me.....i think he have just left me.....

i am so scared.....